Mark 2:21-22 NLT “Besides, who would patch old clothing with new cloth? For the new patch would shrink and rip away from the old cloth, leaving an even bigger tear than before. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the wine would burst the wineskins, and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins.”
When you are changing your life, you have to dig into not just the "why am I doing this?" But also and MORESO the "Why am I here?" I resonate deeply with this parable of Jesus when it comes to my weightloss journey. I'm the old wineskin when I start. And I'm transforming my body to be a new wineskin. A shiny one. A better one. One I like more. But that's the exterior. If I'm not also changing the INTERIOR of the wineskin things are gonna get really sketchy really quickly.
Maybe a modern day version of this could sound like this... "No one cleans the outside of their kids' lunchbox when the inside is covered in mold, throws the lunch in and calls it good! The lunch is going to be rotten despite the external lunchbox looking ok. It's time to get a whole new lunchbox or deep clean that old one." You HAVE to know why you are here. You HAVE to figure out why you struggle. If you do everything right and throw yourself 100% into your program but do not figure out your triggers and your struggles and what brought you here you will maybe reach your goal but then you will fall back into your old patterns. My friend you NEED to come clean with yourself and Jesus and you need to work hard to clean the mold out of your lunchbox so your insides can be shiny too.
When I lost 100lbs from 2012 to 2013 here's what I had to come to terms with: My binge eating behavior began when I was 16 after I was sexually assaulted on a date. That was it! The feelings of shame and sorrow and brokenness found comfort in eating, not to mention the psychological benefits of being a little heavier making me look like I was less desirable. I did plenty of diets and lost weight but I never hurdled that mental barrier and I let it continue to impact me until I was 24. EIGHT YEARS.
I had been married almost 5 years before I realized that I was even uncomfortable giving my husband my best body because of this old wound. I had to realize I felt undeserving of being fit or healthy or thin because of the shame I still carried all those years later.
And this time? This time I realize I'm binge eating to feel in control after life got really out of control when my father-in-law died and I lost my husband a while to grief. These whys are PAINFUL. IT HURTS to dig through what your problem is rooted in, but FRIEND, there is healing. I began running in the processing because I felt in running I could run away from the pain and get physically stronger than these things. It was cathartic. But moreso in the running I learned the imagery of running toward Jesus when I was running away from old hurt. That mental image changed my whole life.
What could be cathartic and empowering for you? Why do you struggle to control your eating? You do not have to share here if you don't want to, but forever and always your brokeness is welcome here.
WHY does this pain still effect you?
What does it have to do with your eating?
For me it's always control. Controlling how I look less desirable or controlling what goes into my mouth when my world is out of control. It's also about escaping.
Now, WHO can you talk to about this? Maybe you need a therapist. That's ok! Maybe your spouse or close friends can be your allies here. It was HARD to bring up things from my past but the more open I got about it and the more vulnerable I became the less power it started to have over me. And the less power the shame had the more power I had. Finally, find a cathartic outlet. It doesn't have to be running. But what empowers you? What makes you feel IN CONTROL besides food? Think on this. Don't rush this day. You may even need to spend your weekend here. And I know it's hard and hurts but I'm praying for you as you process these hard whys.
When you are changing your life, you have to dig into not just the "why am I doing this?" But also and MORESO the "Why am I here?" I resonate deeply with this parable of Jesus when it comes to my weightloss journey. I'm the old wineskin when I start. And I'm transforming my body to be a new wineskin. A shiny one. A better one. One I like more. But that's the exterior. If I'm not also changing the INTERIOR of the wineskin things are gonna get really sketchy really quickly.
Maybe a modern day version of this could sound like this... "No one cleans the outside of their kids' lunchbox when the inside is covered in mold, throws the lunch in and calls it good! The lunch is going to be rotten despite the external lunchbox looking ok. It's time to get a whole new lunchbox or deep clean that old one." You HAVE to know why you are here. You HAVE to figure out why you struggle. If you do everything right and throw yourself 100% into your program but do not figure out your triggers and your struggles and what brought you here you will maybe reach your goal but then you will fall back into your old patterns. My friend you NEED to come clean with yourself and Jesus and you need to work hard to clean the mold out of your lunchbox so your insides can be shiny too.
When I lost 100lbs from 2012 to 2013 here's what I had to come to terms with: My binge eating behavior began when I was 16 after I was sexually assaulted on a date. That was it! The feelings of shame and sorrow and brokenness found comfort in eating, not to mention the psychological benefits of being a little heavier making me look like I was less desirable. I did plenty of diets and lost weight but I never hurdled that mental barrier and I let it continue to impact me until I was 24. EIGHT YEARS.
I had been married almost 5 years before I realized that I was even uncomfortable giving my husband my best body because of this old wound. I had to realize I felt undeserving of being fit or healthy or thin because of the shame I still carried all those years later.
And this time? This time I realize I'm binge eating to feel in control after life got really out of control when my father-in-law died and I lost my husband a while to grief. These whys are PAINFUL. IT HURTS to dig through what your problem is rooted in, but FRIEND, there is healing. I began running in the processing because I felt in running I could run away from the pain and get physically stronger than these things. It was cathartic. But moreso in the running I learned the imagery of running toward Jesus when I was running away from old hurt. That mental image changed my whole life.
What could be cathartic and empowering for you? Why do you struggle to control your eating? You do not have to share here if you don't want to, but forever and always your brokeness is welcome here.
WHY does this pain still effect you?
What does it have to do with your eating?
For me it's always control. Controlling how I look less desirable or controlling what goes into my mouth when my world is out of control. It's also about escaping.
Now, WHO can you talk to about this? Maybe you need a therapist. That's ok! Maybe your spouse or close friends can be your allies here. It was HARD to bring up things from my past but the more open I got about it and the more vulnerable I became the less power it started to have over me. And the less power the shame had the more power I had. Finally, find a cathartic outlet. It doesn't have to be running. But what empowers you? What makes you feel IN CONTROL besides food? Think on this. Don't rush this day. You may even need to spend your weekend here. And I know it's hard and hurts but I'm praying for you as you process these hard whys.
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